THEY DON'T HAVE THE INGREDIENTS

AWARENESS and ACCEPTANCE. Really the keys to freedom. 

I had therapy this morning and we've been discussing a specific relationship of mine with a family member and my therapist gave an analogy that had me like, whoa. The simplicity really blessed me and I wanted to share it. 

Imagine your favorite beverage. Mine would be a matcha latte so let's use that here. 

Imagine going to a restaurant and ordering a matcha latte and they bring you a hot coffee. 

After days and days of going back to this same restaurant and ordering the matcha latte, they continue to bring you a hot coffee. 

Finally you realize, you're at McDonalds. McDonalds doesn't have matcha lattes. 

McDonalds doesn't have the ability to make matcha lattes. They simply do not have the ingredients to make it. 

You want a matcha latte. You deserve a matcha latte. But you realize that going to this McDonalds is never going to get you a matcha latte. 

If you want to continue to go to this McDonalds - maybe it's convenient, maybe you like someone that works there - then you have to accept and be okay with the hot coffee that they do have. AND accept that the matcha latte that you want, is not here. And will likely never be there. 

Or, you can choose to no longer go to this McDonalds and instead go to a space that serves you what you want, the matcha latte. 

Either way, it's not the McDonalds fault that they don't have what you want, they simply do not have the ingredients to make it. 

And being upset or resentful is not going to solve the fact that they do not have the ingredients. Also, continuing to show up there with expectations or hopes that they have what you want will not make a matcha latte magically appear. 

We often hold situations and people to unrealistic expectations that they will never EVER meet because they simply do not have the ability to. There is a chance that they may not want to, but a lot of the time they just do not have the tools to do it. 

You can choose to blame them. But that energy is affecting you more than it will ever affect them. It can affect your whole life, mood, attitude. 

For me, freedom is having the awareness of that. Understanding that this has nothing to do with me and even if they say it does, it still really doesn't. My worth or worthiness to receive what I ultimately want is not tied to their inability to show up for me. 

Accepting and making a decision is in our hands. And that decision can literally make or break your daily peace and happiness. 

Applicable to family relationships. Friendships. Romantic relationships. Work relationships. 

Hope this had a helpful and simple vibe in here for someone. And if you're in many spaces consistently getting that matcha latte that you want, YOU DESERVE! 

Have the kind of Friday and weekend that you need, love y'all. 

SHANI