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JOY.
- Shani Carter
- Jun 16
- 3 min read
“Joy is different from happiness. Happiness is something you can get at 7-Eleven. Joy is something you have to earn and work for. It takes practice. Joy has legs and feet and roots. Joy is spacious. It allows room for more than just one good day. It’s an attitude. A perspective.”
~Tracee Ellis Ross
We’ve made it to summer, y’all! And for me, summertime is usually heavy on the JOY. The warm weather, the sun beaming, the colors of the flowers and trees, looser schedules, all the vibey outdoor activities. Traveling. Not being bogged down with lots of clothes and layers. Joy tends to come a little easier in these summer months.
I watched an interview with one of my favs, Tracee Ellis Ross, where she spoke with the New York Times about building a life of joy. There were so many gems I wanted to share with you all, especially as we’re officially in a new season. And we know if we’re not intentional, we’ll blink and the cool fall months will be knocking at the door.
Tracee talks about joy being a choice. Just like choosing to be grateful. You have to cultivate it and be intentional about it. There’s a difference between joy and happiness and peace and in my opinion, they all deal with various levels of being conditional or unconditional.
My question to you is, is there anything blocking your joy right now? And are you truly building the life that you want, a life that holds moments of joy?
And I’m not just talking about material or things tied to finances. I’m talking about your experiences, whether they’re grand and sweeping or just within your daily routine and home. Are you embodying joy throughout some portion of your days?
In the interview, Tracee gives some ways that she’s been able to cultivate joy in her very full life.
Being Human
Joy can stem from being connected to our humanity. From being interconnected with others and through our intimate relationships to noticing the flowers and trees. Think about what makes you human and within some parts of your day, tap into that.
Tapping Into Gratitude And Acknowledging Fears
Tracee has a gratitude and fear list that she does every morning. The day can be filled with things you feel are going against you, but by intentionally mixing in the things that are going well also, we can cultivate a sense of joy that supersedes the “bad”. Put words to the things that light up your soul and heart. Rather than, damn I am so busy… it can be wow, my plate is wonderfully full and I am so blessed to be able to do XYZ.
Comparison + Cultural Narratives
I know you’ve probably heard the quote “comparison is the thief of joy”, and word. Tracee also talks about cultural narratives that we’ve been sold that limit our understanding of what is possible and keep us in a box. And oftentimes we feel down that we aren’t experiencing certain things. Narratives like “husband + child = woman” can really be harmful to our joy. These various narratives undermine our sense of worth, self and joy because they are tied to a story and idea that isn’t true.
It’s so important to realize what is someone else’s idea and when those stories are making you feel unworthy and clipping your joy.
Being With Yourself
When you are WITH your experiences it makes them the most delicious. We can be out here doing the most amazing things and have no memory or real feeling if we are not truly with them and in our body. You can cultivate real joy when you discover and know your true self.
Journaling can help with this process, as it helps you move at the pace of your heart and your mind can slow down. It helps you to connect with what you like and uncover what is joyful for you. Then you can lean into it and learn how to be yourself, by yourself and out in the world.
So I’ll leave you with this - I pray you’re in a position to find your joy this summer. DO NOT POSTPONE YOUR JOY.
I pulled some of my favorite letters that can help cultivate some joy in our lives:
Also, my letters tend to come less frequently in the summer because I am really out living life and limiting obligations. I am, however, SO excited to start writing short stories about various chapters across my life and will probably share some here… Stories by Shani coming soon haha.
SHANI